The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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