im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Sober January is a disaster.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Let's get the cat blown out
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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