worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
