he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
And then my night got REAL pukey
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
