I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
