the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
