I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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