But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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