go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
