PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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