I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
