you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
