I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
