we're blogging at a bar
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
