did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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