Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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