How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
