I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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