You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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