Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Randomize
