It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
