I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
