Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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