i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
My balls are so social today.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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