Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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