you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
