So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just found puke in my bra..
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
