i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
