Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
