**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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