You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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