so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
did you just send me my own nude
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
