Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
