This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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