i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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