i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
