You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i dont even know how to be here
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
