Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize