My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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