Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
