so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
