BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
