clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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