the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
