i can't believe i had my finger in that
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
