Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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