it's too hot outside to masturbate.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
