But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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