i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
