You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
