I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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