So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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