Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
