Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
barbara walters just said penis...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
bring money and cleavage
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
