Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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