if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
