I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
