fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
