I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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