How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
