I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
