I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
